SAHM

So- where do you find the resources you need to make it?  I don't only mean financial, I mean social, support, etc.  I have been doing some thinking, and I think part of why I dislike my life / me is because I am at work.  I pay about 2/3 of my income to be able to work- daycare, insurance, etc.  I miss my girls horrible, my home is wreck because I am never there to do anything but pick up a little.  However, my support system sucks to be blunt.  I have no1 that will ever help us babysit, we rarely get away- we don't take vacations, and we spend a lot of money eating out because I don't have time to cook and work.  My husband is disabled, and he isn't physically capable of caring for the kids all day.  He can tolerate short times with them until he physically cant do it.  Then I worry about all kinds of things- but I am starting to feel like home is where I NEED to be.  Just looking toward people who have experienced it / have done it / have thought about it.  I would also like to some time soon consider getting more schooling- I already have my bachelor's degree but would like to get my Masters.  I have a good job- but it literally has no future (its a contracted position with the state so it has no flexibility)- and it is literally boring me to death, I sit in a chair all day (which is not helping with my food issues!) Thanks for letting me vent- my family is not helpful in this decision

I am  SAHM. after reading your post, I thought you had a house full of little ones but I see you have a 20yr old and 14yr old. Do they live at home with you? If so (to be blunt) they should be helping out more. There is no reason they can't learn to cook & clean. I can imagine eating out gets expensive if you are doing it for convinence. You can buy a couple rotissere chickens and bag of salad from the supermarket, and make some quick rice when you get home. Should cost less than 15$ and is healthier. If you are spending 2/3 of your income on daycare though, sounds like you should re-evalute everything. Good luck!

I guess the first things that I would be asking would be.......Can you able to make it comfortably on just your dh disability?  What would you do about health insurance?  I agree with the pp if you have a 20 yr and a 14 yr old at home they should be helping keep the house clean and preparing some meals. 

 First off HUGS!! I only have one and well a big "hubby" kid.  I SAH with my daughter and LOVE it but there are times I want to get out on my own. We just moved to a new town and I don't know anyone yet so I don't get out very often. As far as money and jobs. We live off of just my hubby's paycheck he is military so it's not much. We budget and shop at Aldi's. To save money I would make the meals ahead of time on Sat and Sun. You can do stuff like meatloaf, tuna cass, lasagna, chicken and noodles, and hamburger cass and freeze it. Good Luck with your decision. 
Jessica

I'd suggest looking into any type of job that would let you work from home, even if it means a pay cut from what you're making now.  Theoretically, if you're making less - but putting out less in day care, and still end up w/the same take home...then you're not really losing are you?  The real issue, as I see it, is what you'd do about insurance.  It is important, especially w/the little ones, that you have some form of medical care...and I don't mean to sound *****y (I really don't - you know I like you!) but I don't want to tell you to just quit a job that bores you to tears and get medicaid for you and/or the kids.  If you could find a work-from-home job, you'd have more time to spend with the kids, more time to spend on the house, more time to spend on you (presumably)...which could include combining them and taking the kids for a walk - thus getting some exercise for yourself.   If going back to school could lead to a higher paying job - one that has some place to go with it. - then I'd say it's a good idea...but go with a plan on what you're going to school for and where you expect it to lead you, otherwise, it's an expensive gamble.

Bear in mind though, if you did find a work from home type job...you'd be home all the time w/DH.  I don't mean that in a bad way...but I mean that sometimes we NEED those few hours a day away from our spouses.  You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that?  Absence can also save their lives when they're getting on your last nerve.  Are you prepared to spend 24/7 at home with DH and the kids...day in and day out? 

I work part time. I have more time with my kids and still am working to bring in a little income. I'd prefer to stay at home full time but we can't afford it. There are some jobs that give insurance to part time employees, not many, but it may be worth looking in to.

Thanks everyone...I have thought about lots of options and really have not made a decision.  My 14 year old and 20 year old both have disabilities. 14 year olds are emotional (counseling a couple of times a week, evals, meds, etc)  and 20 year old has a MR diagnosis (has limited ability to do tasks). They help with some light housework issues; I have to pay someone to clean my house...I wont go there.   My issue would be my insurance, my husband has medicare because of his disability and my kids would qualify for a supplemental insurance (not medicaid), although with our over all income we might qualify (but its not the goal).  I have thought about part time stuff- but most of it is crap work that I don't want to do at all or working with kids with disabilities- and well I don't really want to do that either (lots of reasons).  I inquired about a reduction of work hours to allow me to put the kids in care part time or an option to do some of the work from home...neither of those requests went anywhere.  I have thought about some of the time away from home is time for sanity, which is why I kick around trying to reduce my hours. Because of part of my husbands disability has become his depression, me being around actually helps him (sometimes it makes me crazy!)..but I know its helpful for him.  24 hours a day with anyone I know will be wearing.  I know that SAHM is a hard job, and I don't take that lightly either.  Thanks all- and I will continue to ponder, and hope that I can come up with a good solution that gets me where I feel that what I want matters too, and not just do to what everyone else wants for me. 

Jenn I really do give you a lot of credit.  My 12 yr old has autism and it is hard to be a working mom with a disabled kid. I too was forever taking off for Dr appts, testing, ect. I really feel ya on this one.
Do you have a BJ's card? They really do have great volume deals. Last week I got a case of Kraft mac & cheese (12 boxes for $4.50. Ditto on soap and shampoo. One thing that helps me save a ton of money is my Kohls card. I am always getting these 30% off coupons in the mail which apply to anything in the store even if it's already on sale. I always look at the clearance racks for my daughter, just buy a size bigger for next year. I only buy chicken & meat when it is 50% off at shoprite, then break it up into smaller packages when I get home. Frozen fresh veggies are healthy and you just take what you need out of the bag, no wasting cans. Always check amazon.com before buying electronics in a store. I always find cheaper deals online regardless of what it is.
.Are any of your kids eligible for respite workers or home aids? If you have their disabilities documented, then it should open some doors for help at home. I had to fight my county but it was well worth it and now I have 10 hrs a week help at home with. They do not like to give these services away with out a fight so you have to be their own best advocate. It does sound like you have a lot going on at home so maybe that is where you should be. If it improves the quality of your family life... Your two older kids should be eligible for Medicaid, and possible the 2 babies since their father is on disabilty. Hope it all works out and (((hugs))) to you for all your hard work.

Thank you for the understanding of the work that I do put out (rare that someone gets it!).  My older kids do have medicaid because of their arrangements with us- since we took them out of the foster care system, they will have MA until they are adults. Since the oldest does have a documented disability he will continue to get MA.  We also applied for disability for him, which he gets, but we only take a recommended portion of it- the rest he gets to buy video games, etc.  Since I am his guardian & rep payee, I am accountable for his funds (via audits) and can not just take money as I see fit to help with expenses.  Although I will say we talk about expenses and he occasionally gives a little extra in tight spots.  I know we could make it with watching our expenses- because we lived on my income, while paying daycare, and extremely high costs to cover my husbands medical while we appealed his disability denial.  We belong to SAMS and buy things bulk- but I just struggle to get what I need in those situations- or should I say I struggle to limit my needs in those stores.  We don't get respite- but my oldest does get some very minor services (which we did indeed fight for for over 2 years!)  and  I am going to start the path to getting the 14 year olds mental health issues listed as disability (I avoided it because I didn't want her to have a label), but it has come to it may be more helpful then hurtful at this point.  Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I can figure out what is happening with my health issues- and then I can really focus on getting to a decision. In the mean time I am going to start saving my income for a nest egg & trial at reduction of cost- started with cell phone yesterday!  LOL  Thanks again & kudos to all the moms who are balancing work / home and even just home cause I know none of it is easy! I am thankful my children and the wonderful opportunities I have had. 

i know you said that both your older kids are disabled... but not sure how disabled.. can they be tasked with small chores.. like sweeping? empting dishwasher? cycling wash thru the washer and dryer? i dont think disablities should automatically mean they are not to help... if your support systems sucks now.. it wont get better if you quit... can you live on his disability check? without relying on government assistance? i also work 40+ hours a week.. have 2 small kids.. pay day care.. manage to cook/clean... my 2 hours with them a day is priceless... and so meaningful... maybe you can apply other places while you are working where you are?.. i wish you luck.. but dont think you should quit.. its not always greener on the other side